Funny LaTice

It’s father’s day today and it’s also my husband’s birthday!  This year his birthday fell right on Father’s day………can you say over-kill!?? LOL!  No………..I really do appreciate him!  No one is perfect, however I believe he’s perfect for me!  So eventhough today is his birthday, I threw him a surprise party last night AND boy was he surprised!  I was so proud of myself too!  That I had pulled it off!  He thought the two of us were going to the Moshulu in Philadelphia, but we were really going to Andreiotti’s Viennese Cafe in Cherry Hill.  Now you’re probably wondering how I got him there??  Well I told him, I was picking up the cake I ordered from Andreiotti’s and for him to wait in the car.  Then when I went in, I told everyone that he was outside and I will call him in, to have a quick drink before we head across the bridge.  He walked in and was completely surprised!  It was a great night!

This day is really bitter sweet for me………..I know longer have my father in my life.  Not because he passed away or anything, but because him, my stepmother, and stepbrother, picked up and moved to Arizona, with no forwarding address.  I still don’t understand how you just leave someone, without even saying goodbye, or wanting to see them any more??  He left behind, his own grandchildren.  My husband says, it wasn’t anything that we did…….it still breaks my heart, because he was an important part of my life as an adult.  When he and my Mother divorced I was only seven years old, and I didn’t see him until fourteen years later.  At that point, we had reconnected and about six or seven years later, I moved in with him and his family, along with my daughter.  Everything was great! Only lived there for a year, which was long enough to get back on my feet after a long road in Somers Point NJ. I moved into my own place and had a brand new job!  My daughter and I were on our way!  Some years passed and after I got married and had my son a year later, things started to change………..and only four months after my son Mitchell was born, they cut us off.  Then the next thing we know, is that they moved to Arizona!  I miss him, and at the same time, I resent him for doing what he did.  It’s been almost four years since we’ve seen them or spoken to them.  I just don’t understand and I probably NEVER will.

So I wrote all of that so say this………treasure each day, you never know when it can end, for whatever reason.  I cherish everyday I have with my husband, son, and daughter.  I don’t dwell on the past, we should always be moving forward and growing from every experience we have.  Whether they are good or bad, learn and move on.  There are people in your life who need you now, they’re right in front of you, use your energy for them, not for reminiscing about what used to be.  LIVE IN THE MOMENT!  People close to you will LOVE you that much more, for your time and efforts.

Ok so I wrote at an earlier time that there was a big contest coming up……….WELL IT’S TIME!  I’m very excited to announce that Helium’s 5th Annual Philly’s Phunniest Person Contest has begun!  I’m also very excited to say that their format for this year is soooooo much better!  For this year, all preliminary rounds are being held on Sunday nights, which means that most of the comedians participating will be able to have more people present for them!  This also means that  we all will not be burnt out by the time our night arrives.  I say that because eventhough we’re all competing with each other, there are some comedians that I want to see perform, that I consider friends in the comedy world.  I think  it’s important to support one another.  I may do stand up, that doesn’t stop me from appreciating people who really make me laugh.  I love it! Plus when I see how good some comedians are, it makes me want to do better and I work harder.  That’s how life should be, you surround yourself with people who push you to do better, by being positive role models!  I’ve met so many great people in my journey of stand up and I know this is JUST  the beginning!

Well I know what you’re waiting for……..you’re waiting for me to tell you when my night is, right?? LOL!  Ok……my performance night is July 18th, and I expect you to be there ready to vote for ME!   If you go to my events page on my website, you will find out all the particulars.  I also have an event made on Facebook, so feel free to find me on Facebook under FunnyLaTice and on my profile page, you will see the event.  I want to also let you know that if you reserve NOW by mentioning my name the first ten people will get in FREE!  After the ten spots are taken, you will still get a great deal of 2 for 1 tickets!  So make sure you call Helium Comedy Club at 215-496-9001 and get your tickets!  The show is set to start at 7pm, I encourage you to plan on getting there by 6:30pm, because it fills up fast!

I’m ready to rock this out!  So come and support me as I move to the semi-final round this year!  I thank you in advance for your support!

Just remember, keep on laughing!

Hahahahaha! So are you laughing yet?  At least I put a smile on your face………maybe??  Anywho, the summer is upon us and I’m so excited!  There’s a BIG contest coming up at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia and I need everyone’s support and VOTES this year!  It’s called Philly’s Phunniest Person Contest and it’s their 5th Annual Contest!  It’s HUGE!  About 150 comedians compete and there’s only one winner at the end, who is announced at the finals of the competition on August 31st!

This year they have a new structure for the contest, all preliminary’s are being held on Sunday only, and is set to start on June 13th.  I love this, last year it was a comedy overload, because it was an all week thing, for two or three weeks straight, except on Friday & Saturday.

I will definitely post up when my night to compete is and I hope that you will come out and support me!  I thank you in advance for your vote and please spread the word about Helium and the upcoming competition!  Check back soon, to see when I’m performing.

Where is the time going????  I know, that makes me sound old! Shut up, I’m NOT old! LOL! Don’t judge me…………..Ok so let’s see.  Comedy is a strange and interesting career.  I’ve had nights where I feel like I want to do stand up every night, then I have sets where I feel like…….”what the hell am I doing up here??”  What I’m learning is it’s all about YOUR voice, and what do you want to say to people.  There’s always a message, what’s my message?  How do I want people to remember me??  On that same token, WILL people remember me??  It’s a lot to think about and I know that I’m nowhere near figuring it out yet.  I am however, having fun taking the journey!

I was thinking about it the other day and sometimes I feel like I’m funnier off stage.  Then when I get on stage all of the material that I had planned to do, never comes out the same!  I’m not sure why that happens??  Just when I think I’ve had a breakthrough, then I get up the next time and take two steps back.

The bottom line is that there is always room for improvement, and as long as I keep learning, I will continue to grow as a comedian.

I’m loving stand up comedy more every day!  I love when comedians who have been doing it more than 5 years and are doing the same open mics as me, try to give advice on how to proceed in the comedy industry.  Ummmm really??  I’m only taking advice from someone who has actually gone somewhere and have done something other than 3 to 5 minutes at a time on stage!  I make it a point to surround myself with successful people, that way you have no choice but to push yourself to want to be better!  In fact no matter what you decide to do in life, you should always make sure you weed out the people STUCK on STUPID!  The biggest reason is because once they see you being successful, they will begin to HATE on you and tell you anything and everything to deter you from passing them by! LOL! Classic!  Keep doing what you do and NEVER let anyone take you off your path! 

RACISM PART II

So I was thinking about the Ventura’s incident and I’m still trying to figure out what does the staff of that place or any other place get from doing that?? Does it help them sleep better at night?? I can see them now…..they get home from work and say, “Ha! Some Niggers came in the restaurant tonight and I ignored them! Didn’t wait on them at all, like they didn’t even exist!” REALLY?? You know if they were smart racists(oxymoron), they would do their jobs! They would put on the best show EVER by taking care of people they discriminate against and then go home laughing to themselves saying, “Ha! I got some niggers money tonight, and they even gave me a great tip(it happens), and now I’ve got THEIR MONEY! Ahhh, but I digress……they aren’t SMART, they are STUPID!

Let’s put this into perspective, you’re a server, waiter, waitress, either way, that means you SERVE or WAIT on customers when they come in the establishment. I know this because I used to wait tables and did a damn good job at too! I worked down at the casinos where I had to deal with people who would spend thousands of dollars, then come in with a $50.00 comp from the casino floor, thinking they owned the damn place! Then leave a $1.00 tip or less! So I know all about having to hustle and I know all about customer service and how to give the best! I’ve held a job since I was 15 yrs old and I have a great work ethic, people need to stop assuming you know ALL about someone by just looking at them. You couldn’t possibly know what I’ve done or been through in my life, and you NEVER will. What I do know is that EVERYONE should be treated equally, with no bias! If you do your job, you could make some money, GREEN money, that you get from WHITE and BLACK people. It ALL spends the same! Get real and take the hate from your life, I’m sure you’ll be less miserable that way!

Well hello fellow human beings………I have to share a HORRIBLE experience that happened to me on Sunday evening, not far from my home.

Let me preface this by saying, in 2010, I feel that I should not even be discussing this issue and it makes my blood boil EVERY time I think about it! If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that I perform at the open mic parties at the South Jersey Comedy Club(SJCC) on Sunday evenings. The SJCC has been growing, it initially started at Forno Pizzeria & Grille in Maple Shade Nj, and has now expanded to two other locations, Bobby D’s in Pemberton, NJ and Ventura’s Restaurant in Voorhees, NJ. We’re having a fun time and local comedians are able to perform, and use this stage to polish up bits and work on new material as well. Sunday evening, April 25th, was the debut of the Voorhees location and due to my hectic schedule, I had decided I would go and support the show, I just wasn’t going to perform this particular evening. I arrived by 7pm and greeted a few people at the door, then found a nice table along the wall right across from the bar. I put my things down and was checking out the atmosphere, it was a nice sized room and very outdated. I felt like I stepped back in time, so much so, that I thought Frank Sinatra was going to come walking out and start singing on the stage. Anyway, as I sat looking around the room was buzzing, it was a great turnout and people were there for the comedy show, which was fantastic. By now it was probably close 7:15pm and I saw a couple of servers passing me by and going to other tables, one that was only 5ft away from where I was sitting. I still wasn’t thinking much of it, so I decided to check Facebook from my phone, wouldn’t you?? Now I’m catching up on posts by people on my page and reading notifications and threads. Still no one has come up to me, to even ask if I would like water or anything! Time flies though when I’m on Facebook, LOL! So I wasn’t thinking that I was being completed ignored at this point, although, when I waited tables at Harrah’s casino, I know for a fact that when customers come in, they should never wait more than five minutes for you, as a server, you go over and introduce yourself and tell them that you’ll be taking care of them this evening. Now remember it’s now twenty minutes into me being at Ventura’s now and the servers have gone by me probably over ten or fifteen times now. What?? Really?? Still I wasn’t getting irritated, I was enjoying my Facebook time and again got lost in my phone, LOL! I will say that if I was given service, I would not have been bored enough to want to look at my phone. Plus I was talking to the host of the evening Denise Lamberti, about how fun the night was going to be. Since I had hosted one of the previous shows at Forno, she was asking me the ins and outs of hosting. I took that as a nice compliment and I basically told her what I’ve been learning about hosting and important things more seasoned comedians were nice enough to tell me.
I should remind you at this point that time is ticking and still NO server! After Denise left my table, I finally looked at my phone for the time and it was 7:40pm…….WHAT THE F@#K??? Are you serious??? FORTY MINUTES AND NOT ONE SERVER HAS COME OVER TO SEE IF I NEED ANYTHING!! At this point, I walked over to Michelle Teel, who is the founder of the SJCC, she was at the door. I asked her, “so Michelle, how is the service supposed to work tonight? If I’m at one of those tables along the wall, are the servers waiting on them as well?” Michelle then said, yes there are two servers, why what’s up? That’s when I said, I’ve been here since 7pm and no one has come over to me. She was shocked and said do you want me to tell the manager? I was apprehensive at first, then I said, Michelle if you’re going to have shows here, people need to know that they will be treated fairly when the come in. So yes let the manager know. Then the strangest thing happened, some girl who frequents the shows was standing with us as we were talking and after I explained that no one came over to me, she said, ” well maybe they just didn’t come over because they figured you weren’t going to get much or spend much.” WTF???? This little stupid girl, just insulted me and doesn’t even know me! I then told her, you don’t go around judging people, you should NEVER ASSUME, I have money in my pocket and was planning on spending it. I then told her, I’m a grown woman, you don’t know what I’m going to spend! Mind you she said that while she was sipping on a drink she was able to receive from the white server. Now back to the manager, so apparently Michelle went to the manager because she came over to me and she first asked me if I was here the whole time? I said yes, these are my things, then she said, “do you need anything??” Huh?? Let’s go back for a minute…….you’re the manager of a restaurant, you’ve just been told that a CUSTOMER, has been sitting for OVER FORTY MINUTES and you say, “do you need anything??” My reply was simple, “NO, NOT NOW, I WAS PLANNING TO BUY SOMETHING, NOW I’M NOT SPENDING A DIME!” She then said, “well how about some water?” Fine, water! Now as a manager her first response should have been, ” I’m sorry you have been waiting so long, is there anything I can help you with?” THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! She then brings over the water, which I had no intention on drinking, and she didn’t say another word to me the entire night. Then all of a sudden the server who had disregarded me, comes strolling by as she’s taking food to the table RIGHT next to me, and says, “I wasn’t ignoring you!” REALLY???

Now as a server, if the manager of the restaurant came up to you and told you that you’ve neglected to address a customer, you don’t walk by that customer and say what she said. Again you would approach the customer by apologizing and making sure that they were taken care of. AGAIN THIS DID NOT HAPPEN, so I know that the manager didn’t give a shit, just as the server didn’t! The server, who I later found out her name is Jackie, however for the purpose of my story, she’ll be known as “The Bitch”, continued to walk by me and not say a word! Now at this point I’ve already updated my status on Facebook, saying that it’s a shame that in 2010, I can’t get quality service because of the color of my skin. WOW! The comments starting flying and people on my page wanted to know where I was, and what happened! So I decided to blog about it, because Facebook wouldn’t be able to contain this one! LOL! Ok back to the scene of the crime, I also have to say that in any regular setting, I would’ve been out of there a long time ago! My husband, who’s white, and I have left a few establishments due to discrimination. The only reason I stayed was to support the show. Needless to say, I was heated! I made a point of pushing the glass of water to the other edge of the table and the two other times “The Bitch” ran by asking me if I wanted anything, my answer remained a NO. I should also tell you that I was starving, and thirsty, but out of principle I refused to have anything!

What happened next was very interesting too! I spoke with Michelle the next day and she said she was going over to Ventura’s to talk to them about how much money the SJCC brought in for them and to discuss my incident. Don’t you know the server and the manager of the previous night was there and their responses to Michelle were, “We couldn’t do anything to please that BITCH! She was on her phone and we were busy!” Quick question, since when does someone looking at their phone, stop a server from doing there job and walking over and saying, ” hi can I get you anything tonight?” Wow, that took two whole seconds to say! Now when Michelle told me that they were talking about me and called me out of my name the next day, that pissed me off even more! I also know for a fact that BITCH was NOT the word they used! You know I was “The NIGGER BITCH” who was causing a problem! REALLY?? I didn’t do anything, but walk into the restaurant being who I am, a black woman! Even with the snide comment from the server saying she wasn’t ignoring me, I didn’t act out. I could’ve have called them out that night, or even got on stage and blasted them! I chose not to because if I would’ve have carried on, they would’ve have been pointing their fingers saying, “see that’s what we mean, look at that NIGGER!” So I decided to do something MUCH better, let the whole world know what kind of place they’re running at Ventura’s. Let me also say that in speaking with more people about what happened, this was NOT an isolated incident! Ventura’s located in Voorhees, Nj on Rt.73 has been discriminating for years! The best thing was that after Michelle thought about it more, she decided to pull the SJCC from their restaurant. I told Michelle, that I love the SJCC, and that even with that love, I would never support another comedy show there! That I was going to tell as many people as I could about my experience and how as comedians we shouldn’t have a show there, boosting their business, when they don’t even know how to treat people! Places and people like that are not worth the time and effort!

I hope after reading this, you let as many people as you know about what happened to me, and tell them to tell as many people as possible! Restaurants like this should not be in business and to me if you’re going to be such assholes, just come right out and say it! STOP BEING COWARDS AND HIDING BEHIND YOUR JOB, IF YOU WANT TO BE A RACIST, JUST LET ME KNOW UP FRONT! I MIGHT RESPECT YOU A LITTLE MORE! I will say that in the grand scheme of things, you not bringing me a drink, (LMAOOOOO), is not the end of the world for me! I wonder if she went home that night and said, “man I feel so good, that I didn’t wait on that NIGGER tonight! That’s what she gets for being a BLACK BITCH!” REALLY??? Does that help you sleep at night??? Is not waiting on me, changing your life in any way?? I DON’T THINK SO! GROW UP AND STOP TRYING TO PUSH YOUR MISERABLE LIFE ON OTHER PEOPLE!

It’s EARTH DAY! In honor of that I want everyone to stop using plastic bottles of water! Switch to a reusable container. Let me tell you, we switched over to a filter pitcher for our fridge and I have 28oz reusable container for my water on the go! I LOVE IT! Plus I feel that I’m doing a small part for our environment. Now, if I could only get rid of the million plastic bags I have under my kitchen sink! Does anyone else hoard plastic bags like me?? Am I the only one?? I swear I don’t even think, I physically put all of those bags under my sink, I think they started the procreate amongst themselves! So it’s true, they don’t go away, they just multiply, just like roaches!

I’m checking into some sort of group meeting for people such as myself…….who hoards plastic bags! I’ve been asking around and I haven’t found anything yet. Any info would be greatly appreciated! It’s just a big mess! I’m going to need about 10 trash bags to get rid of of the store plastic bags from shopping. WTH??? I really have to make this up to Mother Nature!

Hey all! I love stand-up comedy and I make sure that everyday, I do something to help myself get better and better. Even the pros, stop in their favorite club to workout new material, before it ends up on HBO! Think about it, comedians just don’t walk on stage and have that KILLER SET! It takes time and persistence of honing in on what’s going to get that audience laughing! I feel that no matter how big you may be as a performer, you should always find ways to improve yourself. Once you stop learning, you die!

When I first decided to do comedy, I found the Philadelphia Comedy Academy, which is taught by Brad Trackman, at Helium Comedy Club right in center city Philadelphia. It was only three Mondays of the month and then a graduation show, where you bring all your family and friends to see what you’ve come up with, while performing a 6-7min set.

Now that I’ve been going up to New York more, I was lucky enough to meet a great guy named Jeff Lawrence who decided to start his own comedy school. It’s called the Laughing Buddha Comedy School and it’s FANTASTIC! Jeff was only doing stand-up for a short time and started producing his own shows prior to the school and has the best team of professional and amateur comedians working for and with him! I recommend that if you’ve ever thought about doing stand-up comedy and you’re close to the New York area, that you look Jeff up and check out his industry shows, workshops, and classes. He knows the ins and outs of the industry and can get a comedian like myself, in front of bookers and agents, in some of the A comedy clubs in the city, that normally would not have that opportunity. Make sure you go to the website for his school when you get a chance, it can change your life!

Laughing Buddha Comedy SchooL

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Compliments of Michelle Teel from Maple Shade Nj, I’ve made the Burlington County Times!  The South Jersey Comedy Club where I’ve been performing since Michelle started having shows at Forno Pizzeria & Grille, has been put on the map!  Due to the popularity of these Sunday night shows, Michelle has expanded the SJCC to two other locations! Check out the article to find out more!

http://www.phillyburbs.com/news/local/burlington_county_times/bct_news_details/article/26/2010/april/16/make-em-laugh.html

Hope to see you at a show very soon!  Comedians from the Tri-State area are always there!